Sunday, December 01, 2013

Congrats Chad & Carter!!! Also: Tasers

Ok, this is a bit tardy, but congratulations to my good friends Chad & Carter, who tied the knot Saturday the 23rd.  Visibly it was absolutely gorgeous (although more than a bit chilly ... brrr), and the ceremony & reception was as classy as I've come to expect from the couple and their tastes.  All the best to you both as you start this next phase of your life together.

But of course, it wouldn't be Gheby blogpost without a few turd blossoms thrown into the merry mix :)

I am referring, of course, to the Taser Incident.  Now, most of you are probably saying "Wait, weddings and tasers don't normally go together."  And ordinarily, you would be right ... but never underestimate the ability of drunken idiots to rewrite the laws of the universe.

So anyway, here's what happened.  A friend of a groomsman (although not a friend of the groom if he's to be taken at his word) decided to tag along with the groomsman to the wedding, and basically started drinking as soon as he got there.  Seriously, we kept running into him throughout the weekend, and every single time he was either drunk off his ass, or passed out.  He was drunk on Friday afternoon an hour or two after he arrived; he was drunk when he invited himself along to the rehearsal dinner, he was drunk at the hotel bar afterwards; he was drunk when he went out later and got into an argument with a Wawa clerk about them not giving him all the almost-expired food in the store free of charge; he was drunk when he dove into the hotel fountain that night; he was (somewhat mercifully) passed out on Saturday morning & afternoon while we were getting ready.  He was drunk at the reception, and naturally, drunk at the hotel bar after the reception.

It was the after-party at the hotel bar that did him in.  The bartender took one look at him stumbling around and told him that he wasn't going to serve him anything, and that he had to leave the bar.  Drunk Guy wasn't too pleased with this, but fortunately a few of his friends were also at the wedding, and they convinced him to go back to his room.  They must not have done a very good job, though, since 10 minutes later he was back. So the bartender kicked him out again, but 10 minutes later he snuck in a third time.  This time the bartender had hotel security "escort" him back to his room (which, incidentally, was right next to the bar, so we could see all of this), and inform him in no uncertain terms that he was to remain in his room for the rest of the night.  Just to get the message across, they stayed outside his door for a good 10-15 minutes before leaving.  Not one to be deterred, though, Drunk Guy snuck out the back of his hotel room ... and back into the bar for a fourth time.

At this point, the bartender had had enough, and called the cops.  So, four cops show up, and aren't mincing words with this guy that he needed to leave NOW.  They get into an argument, tempers heat up, and then Drunk Guy decides it's a good idea to punch one of the cops.  Yeah ... you don't do that.  As you might expect, as soon as he threw the punch at the one cop, the other were on top of him: getting him in a choke-hold, throwing him to the ground, knocking over tables & drinks; and then you saw the taser come out and *POP*, down he goes.

As you can imagine, lots of different things happened after that.  First, while most of the guests were enjoying watching the guy go down while pretending not to out of respect for Carter (who was understandably not terribly pleased), the hotel manager on duty was making no bones about which side she was rooting for.  "BOOM!  YEAH!  THAT'S HOW YOU BRING 'EM DOWN BABY!  UH HUH!! YEAH!!"  Second, a couple of us were trying to stop Chad (who was understandably pissed) from breaking into the groomsman's room (who was passed out in bed at this point) and committing grievous bodily harm.  Third, Drunk Guy was getting handcuffed on both his hands AND feet, and apparently still wasn't convinced that he should have to leave, because the cops had to tase him a second time in the hotel lobby.  Fourth (and most disappointingly) the bartender closed the bar down early and sent us all back to our rooms.  Harumph.

So anyway, that was the wedding!  Anybody out there have a wedding story that can beat some guy getting tasered?

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