Friday, December 31, 2010

I have a Problem

It really takes a lot to man up and admit this, but they say the first step towards recovery is admission, so here goes:

I have a Jersey Shore Problem. Like Brokeback, I just ... can't ... quit ... it! As you first start watching these people go through life, you're forced to wonder: is it all an act? People can't really be this way, can they??? And then slowly it dawns on you that they may not have been exactly that way before, but the seeds were there, and all the camera's done is let them flourish into the beautiful, exotic, poison-venomed invasive species that they are today. If you think about it, they've accomplished a rather impressive feat. Just like invasive flora and fauna, they're ruining life for themselves and everyone around them, but they're having a hell of a party and eating up every free resource while doing it. They've managed to build themselves a universe where everything is about them and no one else ... all implicitly premised on the undeniable fact that it's actually all about the 20 million people watching them every week.

It's a fascinating and captivating documentary into what we, as a species, are capable of turning ourselves into if circumstances allow. You watch with a mixture of awe and horror. It takes a trainwreck's captivating power, mixes it with some fake tan lotion, and slathers it onto 4 ripped guys who never wear a shirt. How can you NOT watch???

So if I see a Jersey Shore link, I have ... to ... click. And this morning, I was directed thus: New Years Eve will go down in Jersey Shore for Snooki

The crux is that Snooki was going to come down in a glass ball (not THE glass ball) in Times Square, but then NYC found out about it and told them hell no. So she (and MTV) moved it to the site where it all began: Jersey Shore. You should definitely click on the link and read the whole thing, but here are the BEST parts:

[Snooki] will drop inside a ball on New Year's Eve in a location where she has fallen before: The Jersey Shore.

The location has been switched to Seaside Heights, N.J., where season 1 and the upcoming season 3 of Jersey Shore were filmed.
There's an upcoming Season 3?? Joygasm! I wonder which of the boys got the most ripped over the break??

"She cannot be denied," MTB said in a statement.
I have a horrible, terrible feeling that this may actually be true. And yet I SOOO want someone to try...

"It was never intended or requested for Snooki to be in the actual New Year's Eve Ball in Times Square," the producers say in a statement.
Thank god some things remain sacred.

No word on if her costars, who planned to attempt a Guinness world record-breaking fist-pumping marathon, will hold up their end of the deal
Such a thing exists? And we give out records for it?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Don't quit your day job, Amazon

I was on doing some late Christmas shopping, and after I completed my order Amazon recommended I create a personal 'payphrase' that I could use to turn on express ordering. Amazon even went so far as to come up with a potential phrase:

Um, yeah. Not quite Amazon, not quite.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Virginia's Continuing Nosedive on Gay Rights

Oh Virginia, how I love your displays of idiocy
MANASSAS, Va. (WUSA) -- Conservative delegate Bob Marshall says he will introduce a measure in the Virginia House of Delegates that would ban practicing homosexuals from serving in the state's National Guard

"It's a distraction when I'm on the battlefield and have to concentrate on the enemy 600 yards away and I'm worried about this guy whose got eyes on me ... If I needed a blood transfusion and the guy next to me had committed sodomy 14 times in the last month I'd be worried"

Bob Marshall ... now where have I heard that name before? Oh, right:
Marshall is one of the most conservative delegates in the Virginia state legislature. His claims to fame include writing Virginia's constitutional amendment defining marriage as heterosexual and outlawing civil unions.

"One of the most conservative delegates in the Virginia state legislature" is the polite way to put it. Lunatic homophobe who thinks gays are The End of Civilization is another. His amendment didn't just define marriage as heterosexual and eliminate civil unions, it also specifically invalidates any private legal contracts between gay couples that may attempt to approximate the benefits of marriage. Think about that for a second. This guy hates gays so much, he can't allow them to see each other in the hospital, to appear together at parent/teacher conferences, or even to designate each other as beneficiaries of each others' wills. *Sigh.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Productive (and oddly relaxing) Weekend

Wow, for the first time in a long time, I really feel like I had a relaxing weekend, and strangely enough, it wasn't any less busy than any of my previous weekends for the past couple months or so. I was always doing something: running errands, moving boxes, driving places, sorting paperwork, shoveling snow, doing chores, etc. I'm exhausted, and yet very very relaxed. Why?

I think the big difference is that this week I got to do what I felt needed to be done, vs the past few weekends where all the stuff I had to do (like work and parties and everything else) just felt like it was getting in the way. My part of my life is now much much better, and the difference that made is huge.

So ... the list!
Shovel the sidewalks - DONE
Emptied out old apt and turned in keys - DONE
Sorted through stacks of papers and actioned the ones that needed it - DONE
Sorted through stacks of papers and got the rest organized - DONE
Many gifts checked off my x-mas list - DONE
Laundry - DONE
Cleaned the office / guest room - DONE
Refilled prescription - DONE
Cleaned a bunch of dishes that were stacking up - DONE
DADT Repealed - DONE

Ok, that last one wasn't really my accomplishment, but I'll celebrate it just the same. :) Plus - Eagles WON, Steelers LOST, and there's nothing that I have to do for work tomorrow besides show up and take care of loose ends. Now there's nothing to do except curl up with the cat on the couch, and watch the Packers/Patriots game while drinking some hot tea. Ahh.. relaxation.

Oh, and snow!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

The Future is Here

This is just absolutely amazing. It was less than 10 years ago that I got my first cell phone ... one of those monochrome flip phones where you had to pull out the antenna to get good reception. It was cutting edge at the time. Less than 10 years later, I've got a universal translator in the palm of my hand.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Update #3: Life & Health

It has to be said: physically, I'm in the worst shape of my life right now.

Ever since I moved to Richmond I've been yo-yo-ing up and down on weight; sometimes I have good months, other times I have bad ones. And this past month has definitely been a bad one.

The mountain of work, the late nights, and the packing/moving/unpacking have added a lot of stress to my life. And when I stress, I eat. A lot. And when I don't have a kitchen to cook things in, I either order pizza or go out and grab something, usually something loaded with salt and cholesterol, which basically just makes a bad situation worse.

Anyway, the result of all this is that I am now as heavy as I was my senior year in college (which, for several reasons including weight, I consider the low-point in my life). My immune system has more or less shut down, which means that my latent allergy to pet dander is kicking up again, and it's getting more and more difficult to breath at night.

I've been coping by drinking lots of licorice tea, doing some yoga stretches before bed, and -most importantly- squeezing every last bit of medicine out of the sample inhaler my doctor gave me at my last checkup 2 and a half years ago. The tea and stretches help me get to sleep, but after a few hours (usually around 3-4 in the morning) I'll wake up and my lungs will be so tight I can barely breath. A shot from the inhaler lets me breath again, and I can get back to sleep for a few more hours.

I could tell the inhaler was running low, and given that I haven't seen him in over 2 years and could use a checkup, I scheduled an appointment with my doctor for this upcoming Monday, thinking that would be enough time to get a prescription. It wasn't. After staying up til 2AM the night before working on a presentation for an exec, the inhaler ran out completely. I went to bed hoping I wouldn't need it, but woke up a few hours later as normal, only this time without any medicine to help. So, at 4AM I got up and walked around the apartment for an hour trying to calm myself down and getting to where I could breath more normally. Finally around 5AM upright posture and exhaustion got me to the point where I could get a bit more sleep, but I still had to get up at 7 and prepare for the presentation with the execs - which, incidentally, went well.

Knowing I really couldn't wait until Monday, I went to Patient First that afternoon for a consultation - they gave me a 10 minute breathing treatment (kind of Darth Vader-ish, but it worked) and also a prescription for a new rescue inhaler, which I filled across the street at Walgreen's immediately. The difference between a brand new prescription inhaler vs a year-old sample inhaler on its last legs is enormous, and I slept like a baby last night. I know it's only temporary and I really do need to change my lifestyle, but still being able to sleep and breath at night has already made a world of difference. We'll see what Monday brings.

Update #2: The House

This past week was my first full week in the new house!

I have to say that, honestly, it doesn't quite feel like home yet. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm still unpacking, that there are things I know I want to build (like a backyard fence) but haven't yet, and oddly enough, that there's no tv service yet.

When I first moved down to Richmond I didn't even have a tv for 2 years, but this past year I've developed a strange fondness for watching professional football. I never liked football growing up, but now it's one of my favorite sports to watch (playing it is a different matter completely; if I never touch a football again I can't say as I'll be sorry). And I think not being able to watch it last weekend or this weekend has a lot to do with how I feel about the place so far. Odd.

So far I've had a fridge delivered and had 2 contractors out to look at a) replacing the back doors and b) installing central air/heating. Verizon was supposed to come out this past week and install FIOS, but being Verizon they screwed up and now it'll be installed next week instead. Harumph.

Stuff I want to get done before the Thanksgiving Break:
Buy & install radiator covers (so simple but makes a big difference)
Buy & install new doorbell (nothing fancy, just a wireless one)
Buy & install new mailboxes (the old ones are, well, old)

Update #1: India Trip & Work

Wow, what a month.

The big trip to India didn't quite go as planned. We arrived a few days before they were going to announce a verdict in a 60-year old trial about disputed religious land. The last time anything noteworthy happened in the case (way back in 1992) there were riots, and corporate security didn't want us there. So, after a grand total of 26 hours in India, the team was evacuated to London because of safety concerns. We stayed there for 3 days (one of which we were able to tour London, see facebook for pix), and then flew back to the States. Ho hum.

While I didn't get to go to any markets or anything like that, I was able to pick up a few scarves from the hotel lobby. So, I have something from India. Probably made in Taiwan. But bought in India.

The big project that I'm working on has certainly been an experience. A lot of visibility from execs, which is nice, but with that comes a LOT of work, not all of which comes easily. These past couple weeks in particular have been pretty stressful, and it doesn't seem like I'm ever able to get ahead of the work. I've talked to my manager about it a bit and we think we can do some stuff that'll help, but these past few weeks have not been kind.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Something to leave you all with...

House Update - 9/27/2010

Lots to share this week:

House Inspection
The inspection was originally scheduled for Tuesday, but we got a call Tuesday morning saying that the electricity hadn't been turned on in time, so could we please move it to a different day? Wasn't too thrilled with that, especially considering how hectic the week was turning out to be, but not much of a choice.

So Thursday afternoon comes around, we get there, and meet the electrician wiring the boxes so the place will have electricity. Not confidence inspiring, but in the grand scheme of things it worked out well, since we got to talk to him about what my options are as far as putting in central air. Turns out that if I do that, I'll need a new line into the building since the existing one can't handle that kind of load.

As far as the inspection itself: there are a myriad of small things that are pretty common in a house of that age in that area, but we did find 3 big things that need to be addressed before moving forward.
  1. When the owner redid the kitchen, the new drain wasn't properly tied into the existing pipes. As in: just smashed a hole in the iron pipe and then sat the new pvc pipe into it.
  2. The roof is questionable - some of the slate is loose, and the rubber coating is showing signs of age. We're getting a roofer in to check it out.
  3. The back decks aren't properly supported on one side, and there's some crushing happening. I'm almost positive I want to redo the decks anyway, so this is the one I'm least worried about.

Besides the inspection, I also started the mortgage proces on Friday - pretty straightforward, but holy crap does it take a long time. You're sitting there, doing nothing but signing papers for a whole freaking hour. Nope, I'm not a terrorist. Nope, I don't know the seller. Nope, I'm not lying about my finances. Yes, I know Liberty Mutual isn't my agent. Yes, I know Libery Mutual will check my credit. And on and on and on.

T-Minus 1 Day to India!!!

Just one more day, then it's onto a plane and off to the other side of the world for 2 weeks to help launch our newest customer service channel!!

It's a weird feeling; I'm excited, a little anxious, and a little sad all at the same time.

I'm really gonna miss Lucy (although I know she's in great hands with Todd), but still I hate the idea of her thinking I've left, and it's nagging me. Over the weekend I've been cleaning and packing, not just for India, but also started on a few boxes for late October.

As far as travel itself, the part I'm most worried about are the transitions, like customs and immigration. I don't know what it is, but anytime I go through one of those kinds of processes for the first time, I just get really anxious that something's going to go wrong. Blah.

But, I know it's gonna be awesome, and a great experience :)

Monday, September 20, 2010

Football Week 2 - Also not a good week

Harumph, sez I.
  1. Reggie Bush - Broken leg. Our for 4-6 weeks, at least.
  2. Joe Flacco - Unimpressive yardage. FOUR interceptions. Thankfully a touchdown kept him from having negative points. No other quarterback on my roster. Gonna be a looonngggg season.
  3. Apparently our league gives no points for safeties, which is very odd since it actually results in points on the board. Weird.
  4. Finally, I had the lowest point total this week, which means I'm officially out of the running for our side league. Oh well.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

T-minus 1 Week to India

This afternoon I sat down to make some lists for the India trip: to-do's, to-buy's, to-pack's, etc..

I know it's probably just the fact that it's Sunday evening and I have nothing else to think about, but I'm already starting to get the travel jitters.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Football Week 1 - A Horrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Week

UGH. If the rest of the football season is going to be like this, then I think the part I'll enjoy most of all will be ... walking on my treadmill during the games.

First, the Philadelphia uniforms. If I have to stare at a pale imitation of tri-force green for a whole season, well, let's just hope it doesn't come to that.
Second, the Philadelphia team. I was never a HUGE fan of McNabb, but at least he was able to lead the team down the field. I am NOT a fan of Vick (for obvious reasons), but right now he's the only reason one might plausibly describe Philly's performance as "respectable" instead of "downright embarrassing".

Third, my fantasy team, aka the Smurfsville Blue Ones. This was my first fantasy team EVER, so I wasn't going in with high hopes, but holy crap, I never expected the shellacking this has turned into. My kicker currently has 1 field goal and 1 extra point, which gives him 5 points, and HE'S THE 2ND HIGHESET SCORING SINGLE PLAYER ON MY FREAKING TEAM. Maurice Jones-Drew leads the list with a whopping ... 10 points. Reggie Bush, Robert Meachem, Desean Jackson, Percy Harvin, Brent Celek all clocking in at ... 4 or less. At the start of the week, ESPN predicted I'd have 104 points. I currently have 33, and unless Joe Flacco (my only remaining player) pulls off a miracle tomorrow night, I won't even get half that.

I don't think I like this game anymore.

Well, that didn't work out TOO badly ... Vick brought the Eagles back to respectability, and while I didn't come close to winning my fantasy match I did manage not to be eliminated this round. On to next week!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Guess who made my pizza today?

A certain few will understand this post. You may have to zoom in.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Sunday Cat Blogging

It only looks like she's spoiled. In reality, she's had a hard day, and it's all my fault.

First, daddy slept in this morning, so she didn't get breakfast until 9AM. Second, daddy had Prairie Home Companion on in both the living room and the bedroom, so she had to listen to that regardless of whether she slept on the sofa or the bed. Third, daddy washed the sheets today, and had to disturb her nap to take them off the bed. Fourth, daddy did more laundry, but folded it immediately and wouldn't let her sit on the warms. And finally, daddy had his laptop case on the sofa right where the sunnies were, and she had to make him move them so she could lay down.

See? Hard day.

Monday, June 07, 2010

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Idaho Falls - Day 2 and a half

Last post was kind of a downer. Here is some fun stuff I've seen up here:

  1. Tumbleweeds exist! They are real! I saw one blow across the street!

  2. Squirrels in Idaho have sulfur-yellow tummies. Weird.

  3. Kids who chase geese and their goslings and scare them half to death suck. And I am unanimous in that!

Idaho Falls - Day 2

Today started out fairly well: I woke up at 4AM local time (6AM my time), got dressed, made coffee, and went downstairs to the car, where it was a chilly 40 degrees and raining out. It was perfect.

Then began the day-long circus.

Like I said yesterday, I gave Michael and Catherine the wrong key, and the night maintainence guy wouldn't let them in without the office's say so. So I called the office. 3 times. Twice I left messages, the 3rd time the phone was answered ... by a girl who was not the complex manager. Turns out that the manager was on vacation, and the girl who was subbing for him didn't know the policy and couldn't decide on her own whether to let the neighbors in, so she had to call the manager and leave a message.

An hour or so later, she calls me back, and says that yes, she can let them in, but only if I fax over a signed statement that says she can. The good folks at Center Partners were kind enough to lend the use of their fax machine, and off it goes. I called the office again, confirmed reciept, and a few minutes later Michael texted to say he had picked up the key and was walking over now. Phew, problem solved!

Or so I thought.

About 20 minutes later, Michael calls. The key they gave him was to his apartment, not mine (seriously!?!?) He went back and asked for the right key and was told there ... was ... no .... key. Yes, you read that right. The apartment complex DOESN'T HAVE A SPARE KEY TO MY APARTMENT. Apparently in the entire universe there are only 2 keys to my apartment, one with me, and the other presumably resting in the pewter bowl on my living room table.

Ok, deep breath. Think this through. What are the options? The maintainence guy said I had two:

  1. Raise up a ladder and try to break through one of the windows of my 3rd story apartment. However, the ladder was so big it needed 2 people to carry, and only 1 maintainence guy was around. Because of liability, they wouldn't let Michael carry it. So I'd be stuck until tomorrow morning. Scratch option #1.

  2. Have the maintainence guy drill out the lock, and replace it. This would cost $50 and would require another round of phone tag with the apartment manager. Additionally, since there'd be a new lock, my old keys wouldn't work anymore, and I wouldn't be able to get into my apartment at 12:30AM Friday morning without waking Michael & Catherine. While this wasn't ideal, I was getting desperate, and so I called the office again to start the 2nd round of phone tag. And called. And called. 3 messages and 2.5 hours later, the girl finally calls me back, and says that she would be happy to have it done, but it'd have to be tomorrow morning. *Sigh. Scratch option #2

Eventually, I decided to go with option #3, recommended by Justin. Go to Walmart, make a copy of the key, and FedEx it overnight to Michael & Catherine. It costs less than the lockout, is more convenient for everyone, and I get an extra key that I'm sure the office would love to have . One problem: Jodi and the rest of the gang were about to leave for Jackson Hole for a good dinner, and their car was going with them. Worse, nobody seemed to know exactly where this FedEx place was, and Google, Mapquest, and FedEx's website all disagreed about it's precise location in ID Falls.

Luckily, the kind folks at Center Partners were kind once again, and one of the VACD program leads drove me to Walmart and then sought out the FedEx location (for the record, MapQuest was right). Knock on wood, this is finally fixed, and my poor Lucy will not starve or dehydrate to death. (I'm not really REALLY worried, she had a full water dish and a good amount of food when I left her yesterday morning, but more than 48 hours without fresh food/water would've started to be worrisome).

Also, Michael and Catherine absolutely ROCK. You guys are awesome, I will hate to see you move away this summer :(

Monday, May 10, 2010

Idaho Falls - Day 1

Well, technically Day 1 was Richmond-Chicago-Denver-IdahoFalls, but that's a bit too long for a title. Over it was a pretty decent day, but with one big exception that I'll get to in a sec.

The flights were long, and boring. To give you an idea: the most exciting leg was Chicago to Denver: our plane, a Boeing 757, was the same as our flight number, UA757. It was also a little bumpy. Whee!

Idaho Falls is pretty - my hotel room actually looks out over the river and across to the Mormon Temple, which is absolutely gorgeous when it's lit up at night. Pictures of it, the river, and a gigantic fountain in the middle of town coming soon.

Dinner last night was an adventure: Justin recommended a place called "Smitty's Steak and Pancake Houe", but it was voted down 3-1 (sorry Justin, my travel partners just aren't as brave, or as crazy, as you are). We set off looking for a restaurant called Iggy's ... but apparently the average lifespan of a restaurant in ID Falls is about 6 months, so typically what happens is that Jodi (CapOne's relationship manager with CP) will eat there once or twice, love them, and then try to go again on a later site visit, only to discover the restaurant has closed. Which Iggy's had. So we drove around a little more, and eventually found a brewery called the Brownstone. It was decent - I had fish & chips (while everyone else had something healthy, sheesh) with a beer, which was a good way to relax.

Ok ... now for the not so good stuff. I left Lucy at home, and gave Michael & Catherine (my neighbors) the spare keys so they could look after her while I'm gone. Only ... I gave them the wrong keys. So they can't get in. Which is a problem. I called the after-hours maintainance (which answers the phone as "Fidelity Services" ... wtf?), but he won't let my neighbors into my apartment without the office's permission, and said I'd need to call them Tuesday and have Michael pick up the keys directly. Which is a perfectly reasonable policy and I copmletely agree, but still it sucks. I feel like the worst dad ever. :(

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Cholesteroids of the World Unite!

For we have a new savior and champion!
Last August, we wrote about the "Double Down," ... it's bacon and cheese sandwiched between two pieces of fried chicken.


KFC announced the decision to go live with the Double Down yesterday, but we weren't sure they weren't playing a April Fools gag. But no, they truly are going nationwide with the delicacy on April 12.

Now, even though I was stupid enough to click through the link and see just exactly how bad this thing is for you, I have this strange sickly feeling that, when presented with the opportunity (and you know it's going to come sooner or later), I just won't be able to refuse it. But boy oh boy, will it be delicious going down.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

House Hunting Part 3

Technically, part 2 was last week, but I didn't blog about that. Oops. Oh well.

Not all that much to share right now, except:
Yes, that is a bidet.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

DADT Dumbness

Ok, this has got to be one of the most glaring examples of just how stupid our Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell military policy is, and just how stupid it is that people can abuse it.

So called "3rd Party Outings" are when the soldier in question does everything within his/her power to keep the orientation secret (as the rule requires), but someone else finds out that person is gay, outs them to the military, which then has to discharge the person in question. Thankfully it's rare, but not rare enough:
The Rapid City Police Department says Newsome, an aircraft armament system craftsman who spent nine years in the Air Force, was not cooperative when they showed up at her home in November with an arrest warrant for her partner, who was wanted on theft charges in Fairbanks, Alaska.

Newsome was at work at the base at the time and refused to immediately come home and assist the officers in finding her partner, whom she married in Iowa - where gay marriage is legal - in October.

Police officers, who said they spotted the marriage license on the kitchen table through a window of Newsome's home, alerted the base, police Chief Steve Allender said.

Got that? Jene Newsome at work at her air force base. Police showed up at her house and asked her to come home to let them in. She said no, she had to stay at the base. Police started peering through her windows, saw a marriage license on the kitchen table (seriously!?!), and decided this was absolutely vital information that the Air Force base just absolutely HAD to know.

And now Newsome's lost her job. Wonderful.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010


I have been waiting YEARS for this.

Monday, March 08, 2010

House Hunting Part 1

Well, house hunting has officially begun. Yesterday Graham (my broker) and I went and looked at a place on Hanover Ave.

The positives:
  1. Absolutely gorgeous kitchen. It's been remodeled, and they knocked out the wall between the kitchen and the dining room, making one big room for entertaining. Lots of counter space, lots of cabinets, both of which are sorely lacking in my apartment.

  2. Nice backyard that I could really do something with. The house is elevated about 6 feet off the street, and a corner lot, so it has a detached quality about it.

  3. The upstairs is crying out to be remodeled, and I've already thought about what I could do to transform it.

The negatives:
  1. North, south, east, and west ... all apartments. I know it sounds horrible, but I want a block where I know that people are invested in its appearance. I've walked by there a couple times in the summer, and there's usually some living room furniture outside on the lawn. Not what I want.

  2. The kitchen floor sags a bit, and when you go down to the basement you see that the previous owners installed their own support to hold it up. Not exactly confidence inspiring.

  3. Small closets.

  4. Don't think the fireplace works.
On a scale of 1 to 10 where 8 and above is "I want to buy this!", I'd give it a 6. So, still looking, I guess. Here're some pictures. In case you're wondering, that guy in the last one is Graham, my broker.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

CNN Fail

So apparently Tiger Woods held a press conference on Friday. I know this because:

1) Every single tv network kept playing the same 2 minute segment over and over again all day, because this is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER.

2) CNN had almost their entire website devoted to it.

What's that you say? Someone flew a plane into an IRS building? 36 worshipers died when their mosque collapsed on them? Peanut allergies may finally be treatable? 64 students almost died when their boat sank? Nevermind all that! Does Tiger Woods' apology make you like him more or like him less? What's your instant reaction?

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Elephant Fail

Dear Elephant Insurance. Your commercials are absolutely god awful, and you play them way way WAY too much.

If I had been considering your product, I am not anymore.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Things You Don't Want to See in a House's Description

Every once in a while, I go browse through some real estate pages and look into the possibiliy of buying a home. I know I probably can't afford one right now, but it never hurts to look, right?

So today I start browsing through a site, and see a pretty nice house in a good neighborhood for a very VERY reasonable price. I mean, so reasonable that you start to wonder what's wrong with it, that they're selling it so low. So I scan the description, and then I see it:
"Property being sold as-is. Inspections are for informational purposes only."

Right. Cause nothing says "Buy my house!" more than "There is something seriously wrong with this place and rather than fix it myself I'm going to offload it onto some sucker."

The No Good, Horrible, Awful, Very Bad Day

  1. The site still isn't doing the agent survey, depsite their (many) promises to the contrary. This has now been going on for 6 weeks.
  2. I can't find an important email from December, and it's making it look like I'm lying about something else.
  3. I got stuck in a revolving door at work, making the jerk behind me very impatiently tap his foot.
  4. The cappuccino that was supposed to make it better ... was 1/3 coffee and 2/3 foam.
  5. Later I went grocery shopping, then stepped in a giant puddle, soaking my foot.
  6. I tried (unsuccessfully) to get a cart, only it was stuck, and I spent 20 seconds trying to yank it free before realizing everyone in the store was staring at me like an idiot.
  7. On the way back, I walked into a tree, got my umbrella stuck in its branches, and whacked myself on the head in the process.
  8. Oh, and I forgot the potatoes.


Friday, January 08, 2010

Things that make no sense

The "3" mark on my coffee pot is 2 fluid cups. Can anyone explain this?

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Gun Lobby Gets into Healthcare

Well, points for creativity, at least.

Perhaps afraid that they losing out on the action, Gun Owners of America (GOA) is now officially opposed to health care reform ... on the grounds that it would infringe upon Americans' right to own guns.

Yep, you read that right. And how, exactly, does healthcare reform relate to gun ownership? Over to the GOA's healthcare report:
Every draft of the ObamaCare legislation on Capitol Hill would give Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius tremendous regulatory power. And in early versions of the Senate bill, the anti-gun Sebelius could very well have mandated that gun ownership is an activity so dangerous that your insurance coverage needed to be suspended.
In other words, there's nothing in the bill specifically prohibiting the HHS Secretary from declaring that gun ownership is hazardous to your health, and then, through some (unknown and unexplained) mechanism, using that declaration to make healthcare more expensive for gun owners.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the reason it isn't specifically prohibited is that the idea is so absurd no one even thought about it until the GOA 'discovered' it 6 months into the healthcare debate. There's nothing in there specifically prohibiting the HHS Secretary from declaring that excessively long nose hair is hazardous to your health either, but that doesn't mean Medicare is going to start requiring its seniors to buy nose-hair trimmers.

But it gets better. When the GOA brought this up to several Democratic senators, they got a diplomatic version of "Wtf are you smoking?"

Bob Casey (D-PA):
"There is no mention of 'gun-related health data' anywhere in the Senate's health reform bill, and there is nothing in the bill that would result in any such data being reported to the government. I support the Second Amendment and will continue to uphold the rights of law-abiding citizens to own firearms."

Jeff Bingaman (D-NM)
"It is my understanding that there is no discussion within the Senate concerning firearms in relation to health care. Please be assured I will keep your comments in mind as the Senate debates comprehensive health care reform."

But the GOA kicked and screamed and made enough noise that Harry Reid eventually threw up his hands in exasperation, and added language specifically prohibitting firearm data from being collected or used in conjunction with healthcare.

And NOW, the GOA is crowing that including this language actually proves that eliminating gun ownership was Obama's goal all along:
To listen to these and other liberal senators, you would think there were no 2nd Amendment concerns in President Obama's signature piece of legislation. But then, lo and behold, Sen. Reid included language in his substitute amendment that totally undercut these senators' excuses.
So let me get this straight. 1) GOA comes up with a completely absurd argument that healthcare will be bad for gun ownershp. 2) Senators tell GOA they're a bunch of idiots, but GOA whines enough that Reid finally adds language to the bill addressing GOA's concerns. 3) This proves GOA was right all along, since lack of absurd language in the original bill obviously proves that the absurdity was the real goal all along.

*Sigh. Better idiots please

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Quote of the Day

Ezra Klein:
It's a reminder that when times are good, government seems almost vestigal, like a weekly psychiatry appointment that you keep even though you're feeling fine.

Friday, January 01, 2010

2010 Resolutions

  1. Go to the gym to lift at least 2 times a week, and do 30 minutes of cardio at least 4 times a week.
  2. Eat better food, but less of it. Use stuff out of cans or boxes as little as possible. Limit myself to 1 meal per week at the CapOne cafeteria. Eat breakfast before going to work instead of at work.
  3. Through a combination of #1 and #2, lose 40 pounds.
  4. Have my home by visitor-ready all the time (ie clean and well stocked).
  5. Get my passport.